Oops, sorry legions of loyal readers (legions might be pushing it...I admit) but I haven't lived up to my promise on this here blog thingie.
Sometimes the shit just doesn't come. Sometimes it does and I just don't feel like putting it onto the Interweb. Today I shall rant about cilantro.
Did cilantro exist before the last, oh, 5 years? I mean, I know it must have. It's a plant after all. Unless! Unless it is a genetically engineered plant created by the government and only people who are not prone to mind control hate it. Because I hate it. I hate it with the fire of one thousand itching and burning herpes outbreaks. Not that I know what that feels like.
Let me tell you a little something about this lady. I like food. I grew up in a household where being a picky eater was not an option. We had to try everything at the table, every single time it was served. "But I know I hate peas Dad. I had them yesterday." Didn't matter. I had to take at least one of each thing or my Dad would serve me a generous helping that I was then forced to finish. This made me able to try and eventually like almost every food. Even if I hate the food, I keep trying it. For example, cilantro. I can take it in very small doses, but I always know it's there. Like when the herpes lies dormant. Again, the herpes stuff is just from Wikipedia. No first hand knowledge here. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
My point is, I'm not a picky eater. Never have been. I make fun of picky eaters. I laugh in the face of it. But this cilantro craze has gone way too far. I was annoyed when it turned up in salsa. I was super annoyed when I went to Chipotle the first time and realized it's in EVERYTHING there. Today was when I tipped into rant land. I ordered an Asian sesame chicken salad at Panera, and there, hiding amongst the lettuce was cilantro. I was blindsided as I can usually sniff out the dishes they put that trendy crap on to make it seem more, oh, trendy.
I just wanted to spread the word: you zombies who like it are just being controlled by the government. My bet is that the government created it, made it addictive and is the only supplier, thereby funding some mind control experiment. Do you also sleep eat and have blackouts? Don't say I didn't warn you.
